ZANG TUMMM TUMB ARTICLES “the first draft of history”

Hobo Holly

Once upon a time, in Liverpool town, there lived a mere slip of a lad known simply as Holly.

Holly always had his prematurely bald head in the clouds. He dreamed of being a pop star.

As luck would have it a local independent record label, known simply as Eric’s, specialised in helping little boys’ dreams come true. Holly recorded two singles for them — a lonesome cowboy toon set to a clip clop backbeat called ‘Yankee Rose’, and sinister yet spunky follow-up entitled ‘Hobo Joe’.

Produced by Ian Broudie of Big In Japan, Echo And The Bunnymen and Pale Fountains fame (“I helped him a bit ‘cos we were mates — just say I put in my threepence-worth”), the records sold “practically nil”.

The cruel outside world (that’s you lot) wouldn’t even part with 80 pence to purchase either of them — though they were actually not bad at all. And anyone who thought ‘Two Tribes’ was just a trendy sneer at nuclear war should read the words of warning in ‘Hobo Joe’.

But, just like every fairytale, there was a happy ending. Some five years later Holly (now dressed to the nines and even having sprouted some hair) found himself singer in the biggest band in Liverpool town, nay, the whole of England — Frankie Goes To Hollywood.

And so Holly’s dream came true.

To add icing to the cake, those two modest little singles now sell for around £20 apiece. If you’d like a slice try grubbing around local secondhand record shops, or write enclosing sae to On The Beat, Hanway Street, London W1.