ZANG TUMMM TUMB ARTICLES “the first draft of history”

Pet Shop Boys

Boing! Boing! Whoops, sorry viewers. Youve caught us during a slack moment in the “office” and Pet Shop Boy Chris Lowe is “currently” blithering on Ver Hits hallowed ear trumpet about his general health and well-being…

“Im a bit jet-lagged really. We just arrived back from New York yesterday where actually, funnily enough, we were meeting Liza Minelli (rather famous actress-type who starred in Cabaret and whose mum is Judy Garland, the girlie in the original Wizard Of Oz). It looks like were going to be writing and recording some stuff with her. At the moment were planning to do half an LP with her, which is really exciting because although shes really famous for lots of things, shes never had a pop hit. When you meet her you think ‘Wow! Thats Liza Minelli! Because she looks just like Liza Minelli! Well, of course, she is Liza Minelli, if you see what I mean.” (?)

Well almost, but enough of this idle banter — what have the pair of you been up to since “Heart”?

“Oooh when was that again?! Youve got the wrong one here. Neils the one with the good memory. Weve done nothing actually hahahaahaa. Oh! Well, weve got this new dance album coming out in October. We havent quite decided upon the title for it but weve had a few ideas. One of them was ‘At Home — because its a house record hahahaahaa. I think weve rejected that one though. Another was ‘Hello. We had a whole list at one time, but probably the likely one at the moment is ‘Bounce, simply because if you go out to a club these days, everyone seems to be bouncing instead of dancing.”

But before that, listeners, youll have the chance to cop a “lug”ful of the Pet Shop Boys spanking new single “Domino Dancing”.

“We recorded it when we were in America on a promotional trip. We suddenly thought whilst we were in America that wed like to record this Latin-sounding song wed just written. So we phoned this producer called Lewis A. Martinée, who did all the Exposé records (dodgy girly trio who havent had a snifter of a hit in Britain) and he was really keen, so we just flew to Miami and did it!”

So what its all about?

“I think its all about a relationship where one of them is still madly in love with the other one, but that one — the other one — doesnt feel the same way. But the actual phrase ‘Domino Dancing came about when we were on holiday in the Caribbean with nothing to do at nights, so we played dominoes quite a lot.

Some of our friends began doing this dance when they won a game, so thats how it came about hahahaahaa.

“So thats going to be be one of the tracks on the dance LP — there are only six tracks on it, but theyre all 12-inch mixes of course. Weve recorded our own version of ‘Im Not Scared too, the Patsy Kensit song… em. what else? Oh, weve done a couple of tracks with Trevor Horn (the bloke who ‘produced ‘Relax and ‘Two Tribes for Frankie Goes To Hollywood) which are well over-the-top. Theyre called ‘Left To My Own Devices and ‘Its Alright, which is a cover of an obscure acid house track. Weve also done a remix of ‘Always On My Mind, and of course theres ‘Domino Dancing, which makes six. Oh!? Ive already said that one havent I!? Oh yes, theres a stunning remix of ‘I Want A Dog (by top house music DJ Frankie Knuckles) on it as well. How could I forget, hahaha?!!”

So! Is Chris Lowe himself planning to sport any stunning new “creations” for our visual delight in the near future?

“Well, actually. Ive just been wearing shorts and T-shirts in recent weeks.”

Does this mean — gasp! — youre becoming an old, boring and reserved Chris Lowe then?

“Oooh, I dunno about that…”