ZANG TUMMM TUMB ARTICLES “the first draft of history”

Holly Johnsons best friend

FUNKY

Funky is the coolest poodle in town. What do you say when he gets on the kitchen table? “Get down! Funky” of course. Just like ‘Quiche Lorraine (the famous B52s poodle), Funky is his name and having fun on a grey day is his game. He doesnt care what clothes you wear. Hell dance to any record. What the hell!

If youre good to him, hell be good to you. Hell even sense when youre feeling down and walk right over and give you a kiss. In fact hes the nicest person I know. Hes got no concept of ugly or good looking, he wont discriminate against race, creed or colour. Hes never made a nuclear bomb! In fact hes taught me a lot.

Funkys been on television and even has his own record label, he wants to record his own song called ‘Funky Paradise with Deee-Lite, his favourite group. He sometimes listens to Pete Tong on the radio, and sheds a doggy tear at Simon Bates sad stories. He thinks Pat Sharp should have a haircut. Hes pretty pleased that Margaret Thatcher has resigned. Thats one bitch he never fancied!

Funkys favourite film is ‘The Lady And The Tramp. Hes eco-friendly, biodegradable and gets a bath every week, but is not allowed in English restaurants.

He practices safe sex and wears a red coat in the winter. When he sees mounted policemen on the street—he barks! The horses dance.

The symbol of world peace, for a new generation. Thats Funky!

MOST NOTABLE PERSON

The three Deee-Lites for spreading ‘The Power Of Love and dressing so well.

WORST EXPERIENCE OF THE YEAR

Appearing on ‘The Word was not a good vibe, and it should have been.

TOP TUNES

‘Groove Is In The Heart Deee-Lite (they tell it like it is).

‘Tricky DiscoGTO (the best bleeps around).

‘There She GoesThe Las (a classic pop moment).

‘VogueMadonna (as seen on the MTV awards).

TOP TV SHOWS

‘Golden Girls and ‘Twin Peaks.