ZANG TUMMM TUMB ARTICLES “the first draft of history”

No wonder Mark OTooles got Carol Willshaw of Ast[?] North Wales in a half Nelson. For this exclusive pic taken in Marks mum and dads gaff the day after Boxing Day — gives us a glimpse into the OToole lifestyle.

Note the tinsel sellotaped neatly round the gold discs, the placcy Santa on the wall, the Katherine Hamnett shirt hung casually from the curtain cord.

Mark is lovely and his dad was really nice to me. says Carol.

Betty Lee wasted no time at all when Frankie visited her home town of San Francisco. Armed with a sackful of bananas, Betty and her pal Marianne flounced straight round to their hotel and collared Mark, Ped and Paul in one fell swoop.

Note the various grips employed: Ped with the famous ‘Banana Boat method, Mark favouring the Magnum revolver special, and Paul the seductive ‘do you come here often? embrace.

Ped, incidentally, misheard Betty and thought she was gonna get ten thousand pounds from this pose. Bearing that in mind, we got the Claim To Fame editor to sell his car…

The tenners on its way.