ZANG TUMMM TUMB ARTICLES “the first draft of history”

Personal file: Nasher Nash (Frankie Goes To Hollywood)

NAME: Brian Philip John Nash

BORN: May 20 1963 — the year of ‘Beatlemania.


PETS: I got a cat called Clancy for my girlfriend. Its dead ‘ard and evil. It hates me. Sits on my knee and goes A-A-A-A-R-K! Digs the claws in and leaves marks. And its always leaping about everywhere. When I was a kid I have a budgie named Perry, after Perry Como, but it died a week after our house got broken into. Id like to have a racehorse and get someone to ride it.

WHAT ARE THE FIRST THREE THINGS YOU PUT IN YOUR SUITCASE? Underwear, socks and t-shirts go right down the bottom because theyre the last things the customs officers look at.

WHAT COLOUR SOCKS ARE YOU WEARING? These are my white “Pleasure Dome” socks. Lovely, arent they? (Laughs). Only £6.

LAST CONCERT ATTENDED: The Jacksons at Dodger Stadium, Los Angeles. Michael was brilliant but the rest was techno-flash rubbish.

WHAT DO YOU THING OF BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN? Hes like James Dean — not brilliant, but just the right attitude. He looks like a rock n roller. He weats jeans and denim waistcoats and people really get into that. You know — hes real down-to-earth. He plays rock n roll.

CURRENT READING MATERIAL: Christine by Stephen King.

FAVOURITE JOKE: A fellow goes into the Doctor and says to him ‘ever since I came home from a party last night, I cant hear a thing anybodys saying to me. So the Doctor has a look in his left ear where he sees this great big load of jelly. ‘Mmmm, thats interesting, he says. Then he looks in the fellows right ear and that has all this custard and sponge in it. ‘Thats even more interesting, he says. ‘It appears youre just a trifle deaf…

WHAT HAVE YOU GOT IN YOUR POCKETS? A used tissue, a wallet, a hotel key and £1.20 in loose change.

LAST NIGHTS DINNER? After the show I went upstairs and changed, then came down and had a drink before going out to an Italian restaurant with my fiancée. I had fillet of steak in a red wine sauce with herbs, plus a bottle of Soave.

MOST RECENT NIGHTMARE: I dreamt that someone put a load of drugs in my room and these two policeman on horses came riding into my hotel room. Theres got to be a law against… racial hatred and sexists.

WHAT ARE THE BEST AND WORST QUALITIES OF THE OTHER FRANKIES? Paul is really honest, down-to-earth and trustworthy and (campily) hes got a lovely body… But he doesnt stand up for himself too much. Holly is crazy when he comes out of his closet — ooh, I hate to use that word — but what I mean is he can be really mad and a real psycho when he wants to be. But then he also talks a lot of bull. Ped makes me laugh, but hes really bad when he gets up in the morning. And a real bastard when he starts slagging everyone down. Mark is a good bass player and he always waves to the audience; bad points are hes vain and hes a lazy and a totally unreliable bastard.

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I EVER SAW: Was flying over San Francisco in a helicopter at dusk.

WHATS IT LIKE TOURING AMERICA? They see us more as a rock n roll band. Most of the people who come to see us are College kids. When we tour Britain, we might travel 50 miles to the next gig, which is nothing in America — it takes 50 miles just to get out of New York.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF AMERICAN SLANG? American swear words are brilliant! Like this bit from a Stephen King book I read: “I was walking down the road and this guy was giving me a big hassle so I flipped him the big bird…“ And son-uvva-bitch is especially brilliant coming from a woman. Cam you imaging Joan Collins saying it?

WHATS THE PRICE OF FAME? Having to sit in a hotel room because theres kids everywhere outside, and having to barge past people as youre coming out of a gig. It makes you feel a bit stupid. Its also hard to cope with people screaming at you, especially when I think that only two years ago I was working and no-one was screaming at me but my boss.

WHICH MEMBER OF DURAN DURAN WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY GOLD WITH? Andy Taylor — if we could manage to get out of the club house standing up.