ZANG TUMMM TUMB ARTICLES “the first draft of history”

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Hi! saw The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and after seeing Frankie Goes To Artschool it just brought back all the nightmares I used to have in those long, hot summer nights. Whirr, whirr.

Paul Morley Goes To Bradford.

You are what we doctors call certifiably mad.

Dear DD21594 from Merseyside.

Speaking on behalf of me and my fellow Frankie fans, why dont you take a long walk down a short pier and take Depeche Mode with you.

I thought that Mark OTooles Earring wrote the truest words ever about the Mode, except that he/she forgot to say that they have voices like nails scraping down a blackboard. Even Bronski Beat can sing better.

Lets face it mate, Frankie have the most brilliant voices ever heard. You say they aim to entertain, Ive seen more entertainment in a dead mouse, I advise you to change to FGTH, or see your shrink immediately.

Frankies dark glasses, Ferrybridge.

We declare this correspondence closed (The Dead Mice Entertainment Society).

My friend and I have spent many happy hours (and arguments) compiling this list of TOP TEN POSERS for your collection of Top Tens. We hope after so much agony and hard work that you appreciate it and send us a record token as a sign of gratitude.

  1. Prince
  2. George Michael
  3. Simon Le Bon
  4. Nick Rhodes
  5. Marilyn
  6. Freddie Mercury
  7. Holly Johnson
  8. Paul Young
  9. Martin Kemp
  10. Tony Hadley

Howard Jones checked shirt and Nik Kershaws right arm.

Martin Kemp, only number nine. Bang goes your record token.

This poem is for Peter Gill from Frankie ‘coz I love him and think the world of him.

My Loved One

Although I never met him

He remains on my mind

A poster on my wall

A loved one in my mind

Hes famous now, above the rest

He worked so hard for it, I think

He deserves the best

Although I think of him every day

My mind is never at rest without him

Hes fairskinned and has black curly hair

Hes the most handsome person in the world

My friends laugh and jeer

But I dont care at all

His name is Peter Gill

He is all over my wall

In my mind he plays a big part

For I think the most of him

Hes my loved one in disguise

I know Ill never meet him

Land and water divides

Please tell him I love him

Cause if you dont I will die

Heartbroken and despairing.

Sharon, Peter Gills No Hover.

Sorry the Booker Prize is already won by

Someone we never heard of

But we like your poem

And we decided to show him

Peter Gill, that is.