The day I saw Santa blotto in the grotto
When did you first realise Father Christmas wasn’t quite right? When you woke to find your dad stumbling through the darkness wrapped in a red dressing gown? Or when you noticed that the jovial chap in your local Santa’s grotto was sporting a white beard made of cotton wool?
Funny how many popstars had the same sort of experiences…
PED (FRANKIE GOES TO HOLLYWOOD): “He doesn’t exist does he? I saw me mum kiss me auld fella once when he had the red gear on, but it was obviously still the auld fella, cos he was pissed as a rat.”