ZANG TUMMM TUMB ARTICLES “the first draft of history”

I SAY, I SAY, I SAY…

Get that slogan off your chest and you could get it on your chest!

Unless you shouted “Woargh!” and hid yourself, you won’t have missed the summer’s biggest fashion.

For Frankie’s is the face that launched a thousand white T-shirts and dozens more headline-sized “Frankie say” slogans.

And it didn’t stop at the ones Frankie really said, either.

From that first innocent “Relax”, we’ve had everything from the cute — “Frankie Say Come to Hastings”, to the cutting — “Who The Hell Cares What Frankie Say?”

All of which set us thinking.

Given a pure white, billowing T-shirt and a black felt tip, what would other bands come up with?

After long consultations with his llama and a quick word with the mechanical pirates, what would Mr Jackson scrawl?

If we could get him out of the flowerbeds long enough, what would Morrissey say?

And given that they’re frankly anti-Frankie, what would Spandau come up with?

We put our heads together and came up with the following. BUT — if you can come up with your own — by a different artist or any of those already mentioned, and it’s one of the best five we receive, we’ll print it on a T-shirt for you!

  • BLANCMANGE SAY GET SET
  • THE SMITHS SAY IT WITH FLOWERS
  • THE BUNNYMEN SAY WHAT’S UP DOC?
  • MICHAEL JACKSON SAYS IT TO DUMMIES
  • NICK RHODES SAYS FRANKIE WHO?
  • BIG COUNTRY SAY REAL-AXES STILL DO IT
  • DURAN DURAN SAY REFLEX — WE DID IT
  • SPANDAU, WHAM AND CULTURE CLUB SAY WAR ON FRANKIE

(…Not that we don’t like them because of their success, y’understand? Heaven forbid! I mean just because they’ve spent, you know, 19 weeks at No.1, it’s no reason to dislike them as people… And just because they’ve been on the cover of 234 different magazines and everyone’s talking about them… It’s just that, well (Contd. p39))

Just fill your slogan in on the blank T-shirt space provided, together with your name, age, address and T-shirt size, and send it to I Say I Say I Say, No.1 Magazine, Commonwealth House, 1–19 New Oxford Street, London WC1A 1NG. Closing date for entries is September 10, so relax! And go to work…

FRANKIE SAY WAR — ON CRUELTY

Here’s a Frankie slogan you won’t have seen before. Jolly Holly — blatantly offensive superstar of this parish — is urging everyone under 18 to ‘Give An Hour For A Child’ in aid of the NSPCC (National Society For The Prevention Of Cruelty To Children).

The campaign encourages young people to raise money, through sponsorship, for each minute they spend on an activity of their own choice up to a maximum of 60 minutes.

The nine kids in this picture gave an hour, and Holly gave an hour to meet them.

“I’m very lucky,” Holly said, “I have terrific parents, but some kids have a really rotten time growing up and we should do all that we can to make their lives happier and more secure.”

Further info — with special badges — is available free from any branch of the Midland Bank, who are supporting the scheme.

Everyone taking part will have the chance to go to a party hosted by HRH The Princess Margaret in St James’s Palace, London, in December. Can’t be bad…

So how about an hour listening to ‘Two Tribes’ remixes. Or an hour listening to the Mike Read Show if you really want to cash in…