ZANG TUMMM TUMB ARTICLES “the first draft of history”


You are hearing from a (très depressed) person here, right. The depressed person is, surprise surprise, me! Before going on holiday to Spain right, I happily stroll down to the market and after a long time I come across this stall, right, which at the time I think is pretty tubular (great new word just learned from one fab magazine). Anyway this stall is selling these T-Shirts saying things like “Relax” and “Frankie Goes To War” for pretty tubular prices. I decide to buy one of each. Now I am a v. depressed person afraid to walk the streets in my new items of clothing for fear of being blown up, screamed at or seeing someone pulling their hair out.

All I can say to anyone who wants to know is I like Frankie and crummy T-Shirts. Better scram quick now or Im likely to be stabbed, poisoned, strangled etc. for telling the truth.

Me, Camberley, Surrey.

Didnt happen to catch sight of a rather odd-looking cove, name of Barry, down in Spain, perchance?

Did you hear that Frankie Goes To Hollywood have gone Hawaiian? Well, I didnt until I read this weeks top 40 here in Australia.

Javier, Hornsby, NSW, Australia.

Dear Simons Girl On Film (letters August 16),

If you knew anything about John Lydons past you would know that his career has been built on his astounding ability to annoy people. This has been the essence of his success because it creates controversy which in turn leads to increased record sales. Frankie Goes To Hollywood are living proof of this formula but the Sex Pistols pioneered it and they swindled nearly a million pounds as a result.

You say that Lydon “would like to think he has changed the world.” Well, that is exactly what he has done. Music in 1976 was incredibly boring but the Pistols brought Punk and the New Wave invasion. Without the Pistols there would never have been Siouxsie and the Banshees, Adam and the Ants or The Stranglers, to name but a few.

P.A. System, Gloucester.

I am absolutely disgusted with the BBC! First they ban “Relax” and now they censor a scene from the Spandau Ballet “Ill Fly For You” video which shows a scantily-clad Martin Kemp rolling in the mud with some lucky lady. The song is brilliant and I dont think theres anything offensive about the video at all.

Its very sad to think theres so much violence and brutality shown on TV nowadays and harmless, loving activities which human beings are supposed to enjoy are thought of as distasteful.

An ex-Go-Go Girl Glasgow.

This must be the final straw! When I saw this I tore up my local paper and went to see the Doc. He gave me a sedative and told me to calm down — to relax — arrgh! Ill have to go now — Im feeling depressed.

A “Frankie Say: These T-Shirts Are Getting Ridiculous” T-Shirt Who Is Not At All Well Blackpool, Lancs.